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13 May 2008 @ 10:08 pm
Drabble the first  
On the subject of actually trying to improve my writing, while I was at elvinborn's house last night, I wrote my first drabble.  Drabbles are a good idea for me.  I get way too wordy, I get hung up on perfection, and I get overwhelmed... a lot.  This is a great way to practice the subtle art of get-r-done.

She kept me to the hard 100-word limit, and even gave me an opening sentence:  "I thought he would come for me, but he didn't."

I thought he would come for me, but he didn't.

Celig screamed when he cut her, wept green tears and stiffened like a waxen thing as he took her.  All I could see was a pile of corpses, tied with a cord and stacked neatly against the lip of the basket.

Ten perfect heads drooped and swayed as the giant dipped and nodded, cutting and pulling us up.  Eleven.  Twelve.  And, shaking on my stem, I thought about something Celig had said to me once.

“I pity you for the black spots on your petals.”

I remain flawed… and unharmed.


As I explained to elvinborn, "It has to be a bit morbid, because, well, it's me."
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justjenn001justjenn001 on May 14th, 2008 02:23 am (UTC)
I have a great market for things under 100 words in the speculative fiction genre, if you keep it up: Flashshot

And you can also try my magazine, Flash Me Magazine. We do any genre up to 1,000 words and we also have a free contest for stories under 250 words.

I'm passionate about short-short fiction...

Jenn
justjenn001justjenn001 on May 14th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
Oops!
The link doesn't work because of a typo. It should be http://flashme.wingedhalo.com

Jenn
Wiseacreewin on May 14th, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
Otay. :) Yeah, I knew you did the flashfics and I've read a few of yours, too.
Chriscrm17 on May 14th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
It must count for something that it took two reads to fully appreciate it. It is also interesting in that it by nature has to be near poetry, but it is much easier reading. I could read it multiple times in couple minutes. Poetry tends to be harder to read like that. Like the difference between a melody and a mathematical equation. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a hundred words still paints a very clear picture. It is small enough to visually hold in your hand like a photograph. We gain additional insight with each glance.
Wiseacreewin on May 14th, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
It must count for something that it took two reads to fully appreciate it.

OBTUSITY on my part!

Just because I like making up words like obtusity.
Chriscrm17 on May 14th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
Nicely created word, but not one that applies here. I certainly meant my comment as a compliment.

Speaking of counting...
MASHFanficChick: Rose Red? (Black Rose)mashfanficchick on May 14th, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
For the record, when I started writing this, I was first, and knew what I wanted to say. But then bad computery things happened, so, sorry. :-/

As I explained to elvinborn, "It has to be a bit morbid, because, well, it's me."

Yeah, I was gonna point that out, but then I realized that--like you said--it's you. On the hand, that means that it is not only morbid, but disturbingly brilliant. *bows before your skill ('cause I don't curtsy for no one)*
Wiseacreewin on May 14th, 2008 03:37 am (UTC)
*BLUSH*

*mumble*thanks*mumble*

(I'm shy about it. At the moment, I'm seeing places where words could definitely be changed around and, well, everything wrong.)
MASHFanficChick: I Was A Teenage Indoor Kid (WHAS)mashfanficchick on May 14th, 2008 04:16 am (UTC)
Hello, remember me? Have I ever managed to say anything of any import in fewer than 100 words? (No, "*hugs*" doesn't count! *g*) Let alone write an entire freaking story. Just the fact that you actually managed to take a situation from scratch, and tell us what was going on, in exactly 100 words, is amazing. That you could do it with such sharp emotion is nothing less than exceptional. (And for the record? This comment, up to "exceptional": 70 words, and I don't really feel that I've said that much. So, yeah. :-/)
(Deleted comment)
Wiseacreewin on May 14th, 2008 10:03 pm (UTC)
OMG I know! And you wrote us songs! :)