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Wiseacre
23 March 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
07 March 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Wed, 00:06: To whoever decided it was a great idea to disguise junk mail as perforated checks: eat shit and die.
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Wiseacre
05 March 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
04 March 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
01 March 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Wed, 16:11: In reference to the Russian hackers, I keep thinking of that quote from CACW: "An empire toppled by its enemies can… https://t.co/aRxXpbbXxz
  • Wed, 18:12: RT @ConanOBrien: When our kids were babies, my wife and I played them Salieri instead of Mozart, and now they’ve grown into jealous, broodi…
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Wiseacre
28 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Tue, 15:14: RT @lauraolin: The Finnish Olympians who were knitting between ski runs to de-stress presented the Finnish president with what they made: a…
  • Tue, 15:16: RT @dodecahedron: 9/ Proposed definition: to tambourine is to ostentatiously affect incompetence in order to let people know that you consi…
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Wiseacre
27 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
25 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Sat, 14:29: RT @TheBloggess: I broke a dog pill in half with my teeth and I accidentally swallowed some and now I think I'm gonna die or be really heal…
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Wiseacre
23 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Thu, 15:04: RT @UrsulaV: ME: * screams at Monster Hunter* KEVIN: Maybe you should play something less angry-making. Like Animal Crossing. ME: ...do you…
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Wiseacre
20 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Mon, 14:47: RT @Fake_Dispatch: If I ran a grocery store, everything would be arranged be weight so the heavy stuff would go in the cart first.
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Wiseacre
17 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
12 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Sun, 23:42: RT @UrsulaV: HIM: Do you have this Pokemon? ME: Oh, that’s the one that evolves into the weird sexy humanoid one with all the porn. I forge…
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Wiseacre
08 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
07 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
 
 
Wiseacre
06 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Mon, 13:08: RT @abbynormansays: When a tweet meant to showcase your exhaustion with men telling you their unasked for opinion goes a little viral and y…
  • Mon, 13:12: RT @loresjoberg: Someday I’m going to order some random item and the packaging it’s wrapped in will say “THIS BAG IS A TOY” and I’m going t…
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Wiseacre
01 February 2018 @ 08:00 am
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Wiseacre
31 January 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Tue, 14:50: RT @UrsulaV: TEACHER: We had an...interesting...time researching you. ME: You found the photo of me in dominatrix gear on stage with Georg…
  • Tue, 14:51: RT @Fake_Dispatch: I feel like we are all in a reality show, living in the same house, and most of us want the incompetent, sexist, jerk ro…
  • Tue, 14:59: I don't think people understand this presidency yet. This presidency is an experiment, much like the other aspects… https://t.co/o0JOnXVZQv
  • Tue, 15:51: RT @itzzkait: The funniest homophobic notion is the whole “you’re just a lesbian bc you cant get a man”. Like do you know how easy it is to…
  • Tue, 16:24: https://t.co/oipUG8Iqlw Um. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
  • Tue, 16:46: Oh shit. My smoke detector just started beeping that "Help! I'm starved for battery!" beep... and it's on the very… https://t.co/1Jga8yaclz
  • Tue, 17:55: RT @ferretthimself: Everyone talks about the pronunciation of GIF. But I personally will go down screaming that goddammit, it's see-quel.
  • Tue, 18:21: RT @GWillowWilson: It's a mistake to think a dictatorship feels intrinsically different on a day-to-day basis than a democracy does. I've l…
  • Tue, 19:59: RT @sarahoelker: LOOK at the "Things you shouldn't do in a workshop" section. You've heard ALL of these in technology workshops. I love…
  • Tue, 20:28: https://t.co/XMtI6ZoyyG For the second time today, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
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Wiseacre
30 January 2018 @ 08:00 am
 
 
Wiseacre
28 January 2018 @ 08:00 am
  • Sat, 13:16: RT @NatGeo: "When scientists say bears are going extinct, I want people to realize what it looks like," says photographer Paul Nicklen http…
  • Sat, 13:17: RT @dadjokehansolo: What happens when the sun sets on Dagobah? It turns to Nightgobah!
  • Sat, 18:35: RT @IanMcKellen: I’ve never met a gay person who regretted coming out – including myself. Life at last begins to make sense, when you are o…
  • Sat, 18:39: RT @biolojical: Mass in grams 10^33🌞 . . . . 10^28🌎 . 10^26🌖 . . . . . . . . 10^17🗻 . . 10^14🌀 . . 10^11🌉 . 10^9🌲 10^8🐋 10^7🐘 10^6🦏 10^5…
  • Sat, 18:40: RT @michaelianblack: I want to be awake while I sleep so I can be like, “It’s so fucking great to be asleep.”
  • Sat, 18:45: I'm back on Twitter, at least for now. Blame @Hozier and the fact that I've listened to his album about 937 times n… https://t.co/JkO05l33Ie
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Wiseacre
04 September 2017 @ 08:00 am