Wiseacre (ewin) wrote,

Kitty Heaven

Why, despite everything I have to put up with, Bishop's place in Kitty Heaven is assured:

I came home from work today, and pretty much did my online thing, took my pills, and went to bed.  Badda bang badda boom.

At around 10:20pm (just a few minutes ago now), I awoke to the awareness that there was a highly annoying clawing and batting going on at the side of my bedspread.  It was unlike most other bedspread clawings and battings, which normally will only last a moment or two before the bedspread ceases to be all that interesting as a toy.  This, I knew in the way you sometimes do when something wakes you up, had been going on a while.

I promptly leaned over the side of the bed, presenting my best Big Scary Ape Creature silhouette, and said, "AGH!  STOP ALREADY!" and thwapped randomly at him.  Bishie darted off.  Fully awake now, I decided I might as well get up and go to the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, I hear the same batting and clawing going on.  At that point, I realize this is probably worth investigating further.  I head back into the bedroom and turn on the light, kneel down by the bed, and lift up the bedspread, to find the Mother of All Cockroaches hiding between the bedspread and the sheet.

I did a few minutes of my best Bishop impression, thwapping frantically at the bedspread, except I added my own special flair of yelling, "OMG DIE DIE DIE."

The roach, cooperatively, took my advice.

I beckoned Bishop over with the Universal Smoochy Kitty Beckoning Noise, and he crept toward me along the ground like an animal in disgrace.  I let him sniff the cockroach and petted him very gently and said, "Good kitty.  Goooooood kitty.  Next time, please kill it BEFORE it gets into my bed."

You can bet I did a pretty thorough examination of the bedclothes, but no other roaches presented themselves.  Bishop decided, on general principles, to continue to examine the side of the bed just in case it turned back into the World's Greatest Toy again, but so far, it's been quiet.
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