In the meantime, I'm gonna natter on about barguments. You see, I recently encountered a little book in Books a Million entitled Barguments, which explained the term -- it's a useless but entertaining argument you have while drunk -- and setting forth the rules:
- It can not concern any truly important or controversial issue. While geeks may disagree about the relative importance of an argument about Superman's cape getting stuck in jet engines, we can surely all agree that race relations and typhoons in foreign countries are not appropriate topics for a bargument.
- It can not be won conclusively. The best barguments should attract proponents to both sides of the issue in equal amounts, who can even switch sides at random, and it should be able to last all night.
- It should not be won with logic or research. Statements such as "But I read an article once..." are permitted. Actually going to Wikipedia? Right out. And the more tortured your logic is, the better for the bargument. The voice of reason has no place here. Fortunately, what constitutes a voice of reason is highly subject to debate.
The reason I'm talking about this is, no sooner had I perused this great little book, than I found myself stumbling across barguments left and right.
Jeff and I were in an elevator with several highly toasted individuals last night who directly appealed to us for our opinion on their bargument-of-the-moment: do scars gotten in childhood or infancy get bigger as you get older?
That was nothing, though. Jeff and I came up with our own bargument last week, without even needing to be drunk, and it was the most awesome bargument yet.
Who would win in a fight: Dr. Bailey or Dr. House?
Jeff was square on the side of Dr. House, which I thought was completely and totally ridiculous, because Bailey can so OBVIOUSLY kick House's ass with one hand behind her back. Jeff was considering House's underhanded, long-term, scheming behavior. But from my POV, the long-term thinker can't really drum up any long-term plans when they're busy getting their ass kicked.
We're still debating this.
Heard any good barguments lately?