In other teeny tiny victory news: the impatiens so kindly gifted to me by elvinborn are not only alive, but seem to be thriving on my shady back porch. I am watering them and squinting at them a lot, thinking, "Hey, you're not dead! Go you."
I just watered the hell out of my cactus, which Bishop still has yet to attack -- I may yet be forced to credit the little fuzzball with brains -- and I only just watered it three months ago. I hope I'm not mothering it too much.