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09 April 2009 @ 09:07 pm
Exercise is fun!  

Drawkcab Ewin: I want one of those nifty exercise machines.
BatzRadio: what, wii fit? :D
Drawkcab Ewin: Er, no, like a ... stair swinger or Bone Cruncher XXX or some shit.  ;)
BatzRadio: Bone Cruncher XXX sounds the title of a porn series
BatzRadio: of course you were probably thinking the same thing when you saw it
Drawkcab Ewin: I made it up  :)
BatzRadio: uh-huh.
Drawkcab Ewin: You know they all have stupid names though.

We proceeded to come up with the following list of bad names for exercise machines:

GRANDMA PUSHER
ZITPOPPER
AB MEATER
MEAT BEATER
STEAK SLAMMER
CLIMBER HAMMER
LUNCH TAKER
CLOWN PUNCHER
FLAMING ASSMINDER
THE PATENTED HORSE SLAPPER EX
HORSE BALLER
MELON SMASHER
THIGHS-O-MATIC
FAT MOLESTER
THE INCREDIBLE THUMB WRESTLER 9000

You are hereby invited to participate.
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Various Artists - Pone
 
 
 
Myxostrazsa:  Standard Dragon Rules Applyclockworktomato on April 10th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC)
I highly approve of any combination that includes "meat." MEAT HAMMER is definitely another one I'd accept.

Also:

CURIOUSLY STRONG DELTOIDS
ASS CHAPPER 96K

And something with "grease" in it, definitely.

Maybe...

POWER GREASER ULTRA
Wiseacreewin on April 10th, 2009 01:22 am (UTC)
I like anything involving chapping. :) How about THE CHAFER. Or maybe THE TENDONIZER.

(FAT MOLESTER is still my favorite... that was Batz's.)
Myxostrazsa:  Standard Dragon Rules Applyclockworktomato on April 10th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
THE TENDONIZER.

YES!

God I love this.

WIDOWMAKER should be one, just for kitsch.

THE REAMER.

RAGE.

THE WARDEN.

DAVID CARRADINE.
Plaidplaidomatic on April 10th, 2009 03:01 am (UTC)
These sound less like exercise devices, and more like devices from a mad scientist to streamline his or her rape agenda.
Myxostrazsa:  Standard Dragon Rules Applyclockworktomato on April 10th, 2009 01:14 am (UTC)
Oh, you also need one with just an artsy one-word title.

THOR.

OMEGA.

or perhaps.

NOIR.
Wiseacreewin on April 10th, 2009 01:17 am (UTC)
CONTRAPTION.
Myxostrazsa:  Standard Dragon Rules Applyclockworktomato on April 10th, 2009 01:31 am (UTC)
FIENDISH THINGIE!
Harfafnorharfafnor on April 10th, 2009 01:19 am (UTC)
I don't think you can ever top "THE PATENTED HORSE SLAPPER EX"
Adam: filet o' fishslipjig on April 10th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)
*snork*

Unfortunately, my brain went right to the Space Mutiny MST3K:

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefgnaw
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpeck
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Sidecheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornBody
Slake Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefrock
Touch Rustrod
Reef Blastbody
Big McLargeHuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchbeef
Pack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef

Actually, looking the list over, I'm thinking it's more adaptable than I thought: THE CRUNCH BUTTSTEAK 6000! THE BUCK PLANKCHEST EXXTREME!
Plaidplaidomatic on April 10th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC)
I'll take the Fat Molester please. It sounds like it'll get rid of my fat and give me a painfully good time in the process.
Радаdigitalemur on April 10th, 2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
Can't... stop... laughing...