theferrett was kind enough to give me a link to some of the world's worst jokes, and unsurprisingly, I already know most of them. (But the "What's brown and sticky?" one will never get old for me.)
Btw, what do you do when a chemist dies? Barium!
I swear I'm not going to quote the whole page.
naamah_darling was also good enough to post a link to this hilarious and painful saga of a broken washing machine. (FWIW, I completely support the actions of the author.)
But that story was followed by a response: The greatest email in the history of the Internet. And it really, really is. This email contains insults I will be using for years, such as "piss-guzzling ass minstrel" and "No-Face McButt".
And now, much more humbly, I offer you a link I found myself: The 20 most bizarre Craigslist adverts of all time. (Note to boobear: Click with caution, there's a big clown pic at the top.)
The reason there's a big clown pic at the top is because this is one of the ads:
3) Seeking adult drunk clown for 30th birthday party
"We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink."
I would like to hereby offer my services if anyone should ever need a drunk mime to go out barhopping with. No, really. I will totally do this.